Stop Shaming Sluts

Dears, as you know I take a very dim view of feminists. If they’re not burning pound notes with Jane Austen on them, they’re demanding that they get supremacy over men. I think this is very wrong as the Lord (a man) gave up his only child (also a man) to save us all, it seems, if nothing else, rather ungrateful.

He didn’t go to all this trouble and explained it all to Moses (another man) who climbed that big hill to hear his words and transcribe them verbatim to those tablets, just to have a load of unshaven, bra-less, emasculators throw it all back in his bearded face. 

No, he did not.

However, there is one thing that I have had explained to me, by my PR team and in an effort to prove to the crucial teenage demographic, which shores up any media career these days,  that I am of course "across the issue" I have decided to prove my understanding and genuinely kind intentions.

As tiresome but necessary PR guru and skateboarding champion Ben explained to me" It's the mother fucking 'hoody hot spot/sweet spot' Mrs M. Get that and I shit you not, you're "hashtag" golden" 

That in mind here are my thoughts.

We need, on an urgent basis, to stop shaming sluts.

And I’ll tell you for why.

Sluts are present in our society admittedly. They stalk out blessed marital unions for signs of failing wives and force themselves on our innocent husbands willy nilly admittedly BUT those actions of fat calved predators aside, sluts need our love compassion and help.

Dear Mary Magdalene was a slut. But she was a good slut who, foot bathing duties aside, was, I imagine to be found of a holy evening, busying herself with shroud darning or unleavened bread baking, or listening politely while Jesus talked through yet another of his disciples meetings which had not gone as well as he had hoped and thus fevered his divine man-brow.

Modern day sluts need no less compassion and understanding as they navigate the tumultuous waters of front bottom wrangling.

Sex was, is and always will be a mystery, to decent ladies such as myself and should be ideally embarked upon for it’s intended purpose, I.E. making lovely bonny babies, rather than the recreational urgings which, sadly, seem to dominate these days.

Shaming these said sluts, serves only to demonise them further and I SAY NO MORE.

I urge you via my newly found, but richly deserved, celebrity status; to say, let the sluts alone.  I don’t know any personally of course but were I to encounter one she would have my pity, compassion and understanding.

Just not an invitation to any social gathering.

In conclusion dears this film will inspire any sluts whose lifestyle choices result in the obvious.

 It's here in case, they need to know the right thing to do.

Your Friend Mrs M.